The girl who laughed too much, too loud

September 18, 2006

6 Things You Shouldn’t Say When A Guy Says “I Like You"???

Filed under: Love — elyseeteo @ 1:45 am

I almost choked on my morning noodles when I read what my dearest friend wrote on his blog… May I quote please? I am sure you have no objections right, Rach? =P Since you are the best and like me sooooo much=P ha.

6 Things You Shouldn’t Say When A Guy Says “I Like You”September 15th, 2006
These past few months, I’ve had the distinct displeasure of being shot down several times. Apart from wailing in the middle of the night & crying my eyeballs out, I’ve also done something useful – Made a useful checklist for the ladies out there. So, when a guy says “I Like You”, and you don’t quite feel the same way … please be humane and don’t say the following things

I really treasure your friendship …
Ummm, yeah we all know what that means. This line is usually followed by 2-3 months of awkwardness around each other before both decide to call it quits on the friendship. Instead, please have a nice long honest conversation about why you’re not interested and then give him time to rebound.

Maybe I think of you as a brother?
Ouch! Ladies ladies ladies. You’re highly underestimating the male human brain. For the kind of thoughts we’ve probably already had about you, we’re not legally allowed to think of you as sisters. Avoid it at all costs.
Actually I kind of have a serious boyfriend …
Who was in Eastern Europe while we had been flirting & romancing for the past 3 months? Have a heart girls, no guy likes to lose to someone he hasn’t even met! So, now would be a good time to mention that you would be using that boyfriend for financial & emotional support for the rest of your life (so that we feel better about dodging the “serious commitment” bullet).

I’m sure there’s something better waiting for you …
Every cloud has a silver lining. When god closes a door, he opens a window. Que Sera Sera. Mary had a little lamb (etc etc). Save the stuff from quotes.com for someone who cares.

I don’t want you because you suck in bed/romance/charm/(substitute with an appropriate quality)
No no no no no … now’s not a good time to pick on them. As tempting as it might be to finish it them off in one go, please spend the extra 30 minutes conversing and layering nice things in between the criticisms. And remember to say something nice about them too, ok?

Naah, I could never be interested in you. Anyway, wanna go for a movie?
Grrr … some common sense required here. If you really want him to stop lusting over you and get on to someone else, please give him the gift of distance & time. All guys will need some time to forget all about you (4 days to 4 months), and in the meantime should be set up with all your single, hot friends for rebounding.

Wait. wait. wait. *pause*

Lets see how ironic a guy’s mind is ok? =P

From what a poor helpless feminine mind can gather, men want us to :’please have a nice long honest conversation about why you’re not interested

Since we do not see a romantic future with you, it is evident that there are some things that we couldn’t quite accept in you? or rather, some of your characteristics are not suitable for us?

so when we are honest: ‘I don’t want you because you suck in bed/romance/charm/(substitute with an appropriate quality)

We bruise their weak ego: ‘No no no no no … now’s not a good time to pick on them.

NOW men, what do you want us to do?

Seriously which way is the best way to reject a guy?

Or is there even a good way?

I don’t know about you girls. If I really like spending time with that guy, and think that he is a friend worth keeping. But unfortunately, not interested in him romantically. I will go for the ‘I really treasure your friendship ‘, why not? Plus its really really sincere and true!

AND I will still make efforts to keep up the friendship which is important to me! Believe me that I do not have unlimited time on hand, so I only have the energy and time to make effort for the friendships that I treasure! Though I do my best to check on as many people as I can.=)

What’s wrong with this?

So I rejected..er this is not a good word.., or rather decided that I am not compatiable with this guy (who shall remain anonymous, so its ok right?=P) around 2 months back.

I said, “I treasure our friendship”. And I mean every word.

Guess what reply I’ve gotten? “….And you keep working hard at your job – and resist my charm … As long as you can:) …”

Hmm… *frowns*

Another response I would use is, (this is if I REALLY mean it, you know people, I do not lie!!=)) ” I like you too, but probably not in the way that you hope it would be…”

I do like you, and you know that. (I know you are reading this!)

Nowadays I realise. Men have lotsa ways to say ‘I like you’.

Here’s one, from 3 days ago.

From this incredibly boyish cutish man-boy, (getting more and more ‘offers’ from younger men recently) hmmm… must be some trend due to Japanese and Korean dramas? =P

Anyway. We did some coaching of teenagers together in a group. And since he is cute, I would say he attracted some attention. Both from fellow coaches and the teenagers. Ha.

Anyway.

So, he told me he coached for this September holidays, which I did not.

“oh.. Any new little female fans?” I asked.

He: “Haha… =p you ah…”

hmm.. can I clarify that before this, we did not have alot of interaction? no hints/clues AT ALL!

Me: “Am I qualified?? dear -his irritating cute nickname given by his adoring female fans- hahahahaa”

He:”Haha ya… I want to ask you to join too… Hee *wink”

Me: Haha. So who else is in e -his nickname- fan club?

He:Hm… Not alot actually. Girl A, girl B and girl C… =p haha i dun wan u to be in my -his nickname- fan club. I want you to be in my fan club :p

Me: That’s quite a lot of fans le lor. No exclusivity one. I dun want.. hahaha.. But any member benefits?;)

He: Got. Exclusive dinner and movie dates followed by lots of hugz. 😉 though i’m not sure if the lots of hugz is considered as benefits to u though…;)

This point I finally got the picture.

after which is..
blah blah blah

I couldn’t believe it, as we hardly knew each other. So I clarified. and he replied: Haiya… You are making me miss you even more… Tsk you…

So I replied: Huh? *innocent!* fan club only mar…

This strategy is called: Act blur live longer

Lousy strategy it seems. But the guy gets it. and its easy on his ego too. I prefer to go gentle on the egos of men. *angelic smile* He is cute, but I guess after a painful experience, I have since stopped going into relationships that have known expiry dates(a short period usually).

SO in all.

If I like the guy, but not in the romantic sense, its the ‘I like you too, but…’ or ‘I treasure your friendship..’. => The truth!

If I have no particular feelings for the guy, its the avoid-avoid-avoid, act blur live longer strategy.

I don’t know about you gals out there! Men, what do you think?

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